evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
