come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
