Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
