You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
