I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
