I feel like abortions should bother me more
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
