There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
