So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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