Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
