and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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