just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
