Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
