you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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