So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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