So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
