im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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