new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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