nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
