i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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