dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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