So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
