hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
