the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
