it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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