Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
