i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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