i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
