the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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