So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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