Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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