i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
