She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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