i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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