That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
