you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize