I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
