I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
