new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
