the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
