I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
