do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
