Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
