somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
