Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
