sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
