He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
