there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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