Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize