i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
NoShamevember. You game?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
