so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
