She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
