Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
