I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
