Your mouth is God's brothel.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The Olympian is in my bed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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