Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
