His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
