dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
