apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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