i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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