Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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