I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
