Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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