YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
