she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
